Wayne's Small Biz Tech Blog

The Higher Bigger Chair of Domination! Ugh.

Early in my career Mark, the Vice President of the company I worked for, asked me to accompany him to a customer site. Apparently, the customer was angry and wanted to discuss the problems he was having with our software.

As soon as we arrived at the customer's office and sat down, I was uncomfortable. I didn't know why, but I was getting angry inside. The customer was talking down to us, almost as if we were children he was disappointed in. I couldn't believe that Mark, a person I had a lot of respect for, was allowing this customer go on berating us without a fight. He was behaving uncharacteristically sheepish and even considering giving the customer his money back, something he rarely did without cause.

I couldn't take it anymore. As the "tech guy", I got up and told the customer "Hey, we can either go on talking this B.S. all day or go fix the problem. Get someone to show me the problem". I thought I was going to be fired that day but didn't care. Didn't know why, but something wasn't right and I had to get away.

Long story short, the customer wasn't using our software right. Our software was manufacturing software and his employees didn't know how to manufacture. Simple as that. Our software was doing exactly what the employees were telling it to do. The problem was them, not us. After proving it to the customer, he backed down and even apologized. He didn't get his money back.

But what had happened? Why was I uncomfortable? Why did my boss lose his confidence and allow himself to be so, well, dominated?

It was my first introduction to "Power Tactics".

This customer used the basic power tactic of setting up his office with his chair bigger and higher than the others in his office. He sat up high looking down on his visitors. It was a setup that screamed "I'm better and more important than you!"

It somewhat worked for the customer that day. He dominated my boss, at least until he was proved wrong. In the long run, he lost. It made me realize that ifyou need to resort to tactics like this, it's a cover up for your own insecurities. I've seen this theory proven over and over in my 20+ years in sales and management since that day. In the long run this customer was dealt with from then on accordingly.

Oddly enough I've run into people using "power tactics" over the last week. One was the "higher bigger chair of domination", as I like to call it, mentioned above. I no longer get angry. I just play along with their game these days. "Smile and wave" tactics right back at them, as the penguins from Madagascar  like to say. I chuckled all the way back to the office after that meeting.

The other meeting was with a person a little more educated in power tactics. Apparently having read "The 48 Laws of Power" (1998 Robert Greene), she happened to hit on 18 of them(I counted) during our brief exchanges. Knowing that these type of people are overly self-serving makes it easier to decide at what level you want to work, or be associated, with them.

Using power tactics, especially the "48 Laws" can be dangerous. One business owner I know who is a "48 Laws" disciple damaged his company and lost a good employee when he gave the book to his personal assistant. The power struggle and games that ensued were outrageous. The assistant, who was crucial to the business owner, finally left the company with all bridges burned. Her new style wasn't helping all that much in her new endeavors either, the last I knew.

Again, people who want or feel they need books like the "48 Laws" actually need to reevaluate what they want to achieve. Some "power tactics" can be helpful (did you know if you are going into negotiations with someone, you should sit on their left and definitely not opposite from them. The person on the right is the most cooperative. The person directly opposite on the other side of the table is the most resistant.). Others are misguided (do you really need to study "Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit  - Law 7 of The 48 Laws of Power"?).

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Do They Really Hear What Your Saying?

Communication can be the key to success in your personal life and in your professional life. How well do you communicate? Can you even honestly answer that question?

Years ago I was asked by the company I worked for to teach some software development classes in Japan. Although it was my first trip there, I was fairly confident I could do it. As I normally do, I bought some books about traveling to Japan and even a few on doing business there. Don't use slang and always be polite. I could do that!

What I was teaching required the use of a software development package called a compiler. Specifically, it required the use of the compiler produced by a company named Watcom. There were other compilers in the market, Borland and Microsoft offered the two best known at the time. The development I was teaching to the Japanese required the Watcom compiler, the others like the Borland and Microsoft compilers could not be used.

From what I just said, can you tell me what compiler was needed for the software I was teaching? Could the Borland compiler be used with the software? If you answered 'Watcom' for the first question and 'no' for the second, you understood me better than my class.

The first question a student asked after my discussion on compilers was "Mr. Hohler, may we use the Borland compiler?" I answered 'No, you can only use the Watcom compiler."

The next question was "Mr. Hohler, may we use the Microsoft compiler?" Again, I answered, "No, you can only use the the Watcom compiler."

Another hand went up. One by one the class kept asking if they could use either the Borland or Microsoft compiler. Figuring it was a language issue, I listed all the known compilers on the white board and drew a circle around them with the line through it. The International "NO" symbol. I then wrote 'Watcom' and drew a smiley face. That would do it!

"Mr. Hohler, may we use Borland compiler?" Aargh!

I realized we were having a communication problem. It wasn't a language problem, each of the students spoke English fluently. I wasn't using slang. I was even being polite, at least as I knew it. But one of the books I read mentioned that in Japan the word 'No' is avoided, especially in business. While my class spoke English, they spoke a different flavor of English than I was used to. They spoke English as understood by Japanese norms and customs.

So, my next answer was "Yes, you may use the Borland compiler. But the resulting software will not work." The student thought a moment then said, "Ahhh, so we should only use Watcom compiler." The class finally understood, and so did I.

Communication is difficult. You have to say what you mean in a way that your audience understands. This can be harder than you think. To get your message across, a few things to keep in mind:

1. Know your audience. Speaking to a person in the 'business' is different than speaking to a potential customer or someone not in the business. Take the time to know your audience and gage the level of understanding they have. Speak at the level of the person with the least understanding of your subject.

2. Avoid Buzzwords, Slang, and Acronyms. Unless someone works in the same business, use words everyone knows. Buzzwords really doesn't make you appear knowledgeable about your subject to someone who has no idea what you just said.

3. Be polite. Always be polite. Sarcasm can be taken wrong and often misunderstood. Take the blame for any misunderstandings or confusion and try rewording your reply. 

4. Practice your Sales Pitch. Practice on someone outside your business. A spouse or close friend can really help here. Make sure it's someone who is comfortable telling you they have no idea what you just said, if that indeed is the case.

The business referral group I'm a member of, Business Networking International (BNI), strongly urges its members to do 'One-On-One' meetings with each other. Two members meet individually outside the regular weekly meeting. If you are not a member of a BNI group, you can do something similar with someone you talk about your business to often. This One-On-One meeting is a great time to ask the other person "Can you tell me what I do?".

If they can answer correctly, most likely you are communicating effectively. If they can't, you may not be giving out the message you think you are. If this happens at a lot, it's time to evaluate your message and how it's being delivered.

Sometimes, even if you are saying what you mean ... people can hear something completely different. It's always good to catch and correct this sooner rather than later.

Airing Dirty Laundry ...

Back in the day when I was a political cartoonist for a daily newspaper I was also a "stringer", a part-time photographer that covers events as needed. The full-time photographer, Gene, was a multi-award winning photographer.

Some years before I started at the paper, Gene had done an artistic series for the newspaper. He went around town and took pictures of laundry hanging on clotheslines. He liked them so much, each week he put the images on front page. Unfortunately, the pictures grew into a sort of local urban legend that was still being talked about negatively when I arrived at the paper. Although Gene always defended the photo series, sometimes angrily, the incident seemed to be an embarrassment to him and the newspaper.

People don't like having their dirty laundry aired publicly. This is true in business as well as private life. Especially when distributed by management. Many business managers think they can correct a wrong through public embarrassment or peer pressure. I often hear the reasoning that this is okay because they are simply running things as a business. It made me think, how effective a technique is this, especially in the business community?

First of all, being a business owner or managing a group of people is not a license to be rude. Some managers seem to believe deflecting the blame to some higher business purpose relieves them of accountability. It never does. If anything it weakens the perception of the manager.

I'm currently reading and highly recommend the book "Team of Rivals - the political genius of Abraham Lincoln". Reading this book gives me an even greater appreciation for Lincoln's leadership. Early in his career he gave a speech to a temperance society where he warned the group about publicly denouncing drinkers and taverns. Nothing would be accomplished, he said. Instead he urged an approach of "erring man to erring brother." Abraham Lincoln followed the adage about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I've mentioned before that I often apply a "what would the Japanese do" technique to many business problems. This grew from working closely with several companies from Japan who always conducted business following strict etiquette rules and formalities. Following thee lead has saved me many times from writing emails that I shouldn't have sent and making hasty decisions. In simple terms, it just means "always be polite, cause no embarrassment".

Demeaning co-workers publicly is not only rude, it doesn't work. Even when it appears to work, more often than not unseen damage has been done. Usually to the reputation of the one doing the public flogging.

So, how should businesses handle sensitive issues, especially when one or a few are not following company rules? Talk to the offender directly. If that doesn't work, talk directly again. Email makes it to easy to manage from a distance. Pick up the phone. Make a personal visit. Open up real communication.

If multiple direct attempts to resolve an issue fails, then it may be time for more drastic measures. Even so, public confrontation does not need to be involved. Make sure each step has been documented as required and make the necessary changes, which IS an appropriate business decision.

In conclusion do what the residents of the towns the newspaper covered eventually did. Keep your dirty laundry inside.